I AM LOOKING FOR HEALING (The Process)

We often watch the butterfly and admire its irresistible beauty and captivating nature. Many have and still do. And I’m usually compelled to talk about the butterfly whenever I talk about life’s undeniable process and it’s roller coaster ride. This is because the butterfly’s life cycle is a true mirror of how much we change, grow, live and reproduce.

People usually say, “you need to go to church because it’s required of you.” They tell us we need to give an offering or pay a tenth of our earnings to the church. They tell us  what we need to know without allowing us to appreciate the essence of it and so we linger on various activities instead of being involved in true worship. Sometimes our true intention isn’t to “fall off the cliff” but we still do. 

Sometimes we are just ill-informed or ill-equipped in order to do what’s right or make the right decisions. I keep thinking about Solomon. This is a man who was blessed with wisdom but in all his wisdom, he fell. This goes to say that, no matter what we’ve been given, although perfect cannot be expressed in its totality. Solomon in his moments of enormity in wisdom found himself neglecting the simple essence of that which led him to do and make the right choices. He lived without the person who gave him what he had.

He fell but that’s life. Life is no straight path. It’s never been and it won’t change now.

There are two women I admire so much. One had to become pregnant at 13, go through a divorce and eventually became a preacher. The other followed Christ until she established a church with her husband.

I’m talking about Sarah Jakes, daughter of Thomas Dexter Jakes, Head Pastor of Porters’ House and Priscilla Shirer, daughter of a Preacher too. 

They both grew up in the church with fathers as preachers and mothers as First Ladies. These two women have both been a blessing to me and many others. Their words, specifically championed by the Holy Ghost, has changed lives and will continue to transform many.

Well see, the butterfly before, shows no sign of beauty, power and barely proves that it’s capable of multiplicity. Before, it’s just an egg that turns into a caterpillar. Just a “mere” caterpillar. Humans are like the caterpillar. Yes! We have so much power, strength and capabilities brewing inside of us but we’ll only see it’s fruits when we evolve.

It’s just an egg which adopts to its environment. It eats from the leaves it’s birth on. Then it turns into a caterpillar. It is not long until we see the caterpillar turn into a pupa. As soon as a caterpillar is done growing and they have reached their full length/weight, they form themselves into a pupa.

During this period, the caterpillars’ old body  undergoes some form of change. The tissue, limbs and organs of the caterpillar will all change. It is this change that brings the beauty of this lovely insect. 

Anyone who sees the pupa can easily misjudge it. I must say, it’s very easy to be misjudged when you are barely capable or unable to put your thoughts into words. People misconstrue a lot of things and that could include you, your ideas, your strength and even your journey. 

If we are unable to decipher between strengths and weaknesses and hence, vaguely substitute people’s strength for their weaknesses based on personal ideologies and doctrines, we’ll deny people of their chance to acknowledge that those weaknesses do exist and hence hinder their growth.

Apart from “I love you”, I think one other most used phrase in the English Language is “I am not perfect”.

People often say this either for all the right reasons or the wrong ones. Sometimes it’s just a ploy to cover up a wrong deed we might have done but then again, no matter how much we try to be perfect, life reminds us that we are as imperfect as the butterfly.

One of the reasons why positive change is important is because it doesn’t just affect us but the people around us as well. Everyone needs change. I need change. You need change. We all need nothing but positive change to awaken innate talents, ideas and strengths that sometimes lay dormant. We also need positive change to also awaken our weaknesses. For what is life, without the things that prove that we are human? 

Due to our fallible nature, we are constantly in need of something and sometimes it’s just healing. Healing sometimes is the subtle result of change because:

Forgiveness is a healing process.

Overcoming addiction is a healing process.

Overcoming societal pressure is a healing process. 

Sometimes, learning to love becomes a healing process.

When I said I was looking for healing, I was navigating the insides of my heart and preparing for the truth about myself. I knew that If I denied that my weaknesses didn’t exist and focused on my strengths alone, I’ll remain drained and work hard without results. The butterfly doesn’t resist its transformation it just evolves.

When people say words are powerful, it sends me on an imaginative assignment. I love to know which words exactly. Which words are powerful? I mean for a long time I used these words without understanding. 

A lot of things pricks the heart but nothing pricks the heart more than words. Words have broken relationships, destroyed Kingdoms and created perceptions. 

David didn’t become a King right after he was annointed. He had to go through the unusual phase of becoming a shepherd before wearing the crown.

Joseph was envied by his brothers. This man moved from Potiphar’s house to prison. The woman at the well had been written off by her society for being with several men. Job was laughed at by the very people he called friends. “Deny God, they said!”, but Job was steadfast in the Lord.

All these individuals, had to be wounded in places in order to be healed. David needed healing. Joseph needed healing. The woman at the well was no exemption. Everyone seems broken and that’s why we lean on God. 

Life has a way of destructing our focus sometimes. Many have gone through years and years of trials. Others are yet to. Some go through it occasionally but in all, we understand that we cannot evolve without the bitter-sweet moments. We cannot evolve without the pressure. We cannot evolve with stagnation. 

During these moments, you don’t have to worry about what people say. Whenever someone says something to me that’s totally opposite of what God says about my life, I just look at them and smile because they aren’t God. 

If you want to evolve, learn, relearn and unlearn from people but don’t allow their proclamations become the reason you don’t become “beautiful.” Since words are powerful, come against them and accept only the positives.

Simply put, give people the chance to evolve because they don’t need your permission to do so. Society may write them off but God never will.

If you’re looking for healing from brokenness, addiction, pain, sorrow, greed, past hurt and anger, then I guess that makes two of us. It was Esau’s restlessness that broke the yoke upon his neck.

If you truly want to be healed you need to yearn for true love. 

I’m imperfect.

I did wrong.

I’m a mess but God’s mess.

God can turn a mess into a masterpiece.

These statement by Lecrae, are words with power. The ability to transform is in your hands. It lies in the decision you make today.

If you’re a mess like me. Let’s join hands and go get healed. I want to be a masterpiece and I’m sure you do too.

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