Solitude is such a perfect place for my thoughts to journey. Sometimes, the triggering emotions make me feel like a slave to my own being because suddenly, I battle and question everything I ever believed in. Jesus said that, the gospel is for the wounded, the sick, the heavyladen – the sinner. As gatekeepers of the gospel, do we really uphold this? 

Unfortunately, individuals almost immediately wear invincible crowns on their heads and quickly dish out judgements because why wouldn’t they? The immense scrutiny of our society only happens because we want to identify who’s more moral, spiritual or more spiritual and growing. This is why it is so easy for some to treat certain men of God as idols. We’ve highlighted imperfections and murdered other people’s self of steam. So I ask, if God is so perfect, why are we, his stewards so imperfect? 

As gatekeepers of the gospel, are we truly being more like Christ or we just assume that being a Christian makes it right to judge, criticise unnecessarily and then ridiculously, wonder why people are more comfortable being outside of the church than inside of it. 

For some, growth is drawn from a not-so-good life experience. Experiences other individuals may never come to understand. I admire strength. I also admire weaknesses. Strengths kick my emotions, right from feeling worthy, capable and gives me such a gross accomplishing vibe. Weaknesses sadly, disturbs me so much and make me feel like an “error.” They just defeat me and make evident my imperfections. For me weaknesses are defined as what I can do until I can do them no more or what I can never do even if I wanted to. So understand me if I ask questions; for a Christian who has no questions is one who does not read their bible. 

I strongly believe that in a world where we come to understand things better, we need more than just opinions. In fact, we need opposing views too. 

While I engage my thoughts, I remember that God never calls us to perfection. If he did, Christ wouldn’t have died and we’d still be under the law. A world without imperfections or weaknesses, is a world we should not sign up for (because it’s impossible). It is a world without dynamism, falsed self-dependence and less or no empathy. 

In my quest to find answers, I go back to my bible. It is definitely our imperfections that push us to make mistakes, to judge and be judged, to criticise and be criticised, and makes us sometimes feel like we are part of a movement that holds the keys to morality. 

You’re not better than the outsider. God is love and although we struggle with our inner selves, we need to understand that consistently pushing people away from the church is not what Christ died for. Christ died because he needs the church filled with sinners and not “saints”. Christ died because with him, darkness can be extinguished. We have used our imperfections as an excuse and have denied many the chance to encounter Christ. We can definitely do better. I can. You can. We all can.

Love shouldn’t hurt. Love should give. Love shouldn’t harm. Love should protect. Love shouldn’t be a battle. Love should be kind. Love shouldn’t be given based on some sort of moral standard because love is what we all need.


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